“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” Mandy Hale
It’s easy to find ourselves in a rut without quite knowing how we got there - and how to get out. How do you know if you’re officially stuck? You feel like you’re going through the motions, uninspired. You struggle to find joy in things that used to excite you. You do the same thing over and over, hit the same walls, and don’t get anywhere. Most of all, you know if you just pushed through whatever it is, you’d be living a more purposeful, invigorated life. Sound familiar? Let’s get you unstuck TODAY, starting now. Here are five steps you can take to get unstuck, find your purpose and start charging ahead with the life you want to live.
1. Name your rut
Perhaps your rut is called Fear or Shame or even Procrastination. Once you clearly identify why you are in a rut it will be much easier to get yourself out of it. So, let’s say it’s Fear. Fear your relationship will end if you ask for more, fear you will fail at the small business so you choose to stay in a job you don’t like, fear you can’t try something new or live a different life because you’re not smart enough, brave enough, good enough… What – is getting in your way or holding you back from living the life you want or achieving the goals you set out for yourself? Name it.
2. Challenge your beliefs
So, now we know why you’re feeling stuck, let’s look at what’s keeping you stuck. It’s time to listen to that inner voice – and crush the limiting beliefs you’ve been playing out in your head. Who says you will fail? Who says you can’t have what you want? If you learn to challenge your beliefs and catch that inner voice, you will most likely find the ‘stories’ aren’t based in reality. Your belief that the past – and whatever perceived failings are in it - will determine future outcomes is futile. So let the past go. Change the narrative in your head with self-trust, belief and care. Which leads us to a brand new story about You…
A photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash
3. A brand new story
What if you told yourself a different story? A story about you filled with hope, abundance and certainty. Start trusting that you achieve your goals and live a rich and vibrant life. Replace ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I can’t’ with ‘I’m working on it’ and ‘I’ll get there’. Write down your strengths and successes. If a negative inner critic has been your sole companion and captor in your rut it’s time to mute, unfollow and Shut It Down. Remember, self-fulfilling prophecies keep us stuck. If we keep telling ourselves who we think we are – and what we can and can’t achieve – we will always be limited and unable to create a new life for ourselves.
It may also help to refresh yourself with this article, the stories we tell ourselves, and why they're holding us back.
4. Hold onto your purpose
Consider your purpose your lifeboat in a storm. Your purpose is what lights you up, brings meaning and ultimately what makes you feel alive. Hold onto it and, if you’ve lost it or you can’t see it clearly it’s time to go searching. Ask yourself: What lights me up and brings joy? What were my favourite things to do in the past? What are my favourite things to do now? What inspires me? What am I good at? What makes me feel great about me? Is your purpose to help others? The planet? Is it to create or explore? No purpose is too grand or too ‘small’. Define your purpose – and hold on.
5. Change means change
You’ve changed your mindset and now it’s time to change habits and behaviour patterns. Start small – change a daily habit, move things in your house, ask for help to fix a work issue you are stuck on, set a time to talk to your partner, wake up earlier and establish a new morning routine. Open yourself up to new people and fresh ideas. Simply establishing a new exercise routine will change your perspective and recharge your life. As you physically move forward, let the emotional clutter go. Let the past go with it and remember to keep watch on that inner voice. Affirming, positive inner chatter only. Start moving forward. Take small, manageable, joyful steps. And keep going.
Header Photo by Peter Conlan by Unsplash