Feeling stuck? Here's six things you need to know to help set you free.
Feeling stuck can be a most crippling feeling. Typically arising as we attempt to navigate from one chapter to the next, it's often described as a feeling of being trapped or blocked. For some it's akin to a feeling of having chains wrapped around them, holding them back.
Feeling stuck can leave us feeling rudderless and directionless, even motionless. For as long as we allow that stuckness to remain, life is stalled.
The good news is that once we come to realise that it's actually here for a reason, and could even be considered a friend, it can be far easier than we realise to navigate our way forward.
Here's six things you need to know to set yourself free.
1. There are no chains, only silk ties
To bring you some relief, know this - you can take a step forward out of this stuckness, at any time. There is nothing holding you back except you, promise. Just one decision, one step, and you move forward.
2. It's happening for a reason
Whatever it is you feel - lonely, disconnected, anxious, sad, stuck - all of these feelings are here for a reason, to remind us that we need to do/think/choose something differently. Feeling starved of company? Most often this is because YOU are not prioritising this area of your life. Feeling disconnected from your family? Ask yourself how much effort YOU have made recently. Feeling stuck? It's time to consider what it is that YOU need to do differently.
3. Stuckness then, is essentially your friend
Say what? It's time to reframe. Learn to experience this stuckness as a positive experience or feeling. Its message is to tell you that you need to change your circumstance or life in some way. This could be as simple as making one different choice. Be brave and let that toxic friendship go. Take the opportunity that crossed your desk. Spend those savings on the overseas trip you've always dreamt of.
Try and remind yourself that everything has a positive intention - and know that it's actually here to help you.
4. Change is necessary for growth
When you're meandering through life, sitting in your comfort zone, 9 to 5'ing, sticking to routines, settling for average and never getting outside of your comfort zone, there ain't no growth, friend. Happiness does NOT come from boredom. Happiness comes ultimately from strain, from challenges, from struggles - it's what is on the other side of stuck. So if you want to grow, indeed if you want your life to improve or bring you more joy, you NEED to become comfortable with change.
5. Stuckness will linger until you do something differently
Unless you get out of your comfort zone, build some courage and recognise that it's entirely up to you, nothing will change. Ask yourself this, are you thinking the same thoughts, telling yourself the same stories again and again and again?
If that's you, it's definitely time to do something differently. And what might this 'doing something differently' look like? It could be a commitment to arranging a coffee date each week with someone who inspires you. Maybe it's time to let go of a project that has brought nothing but strain and overwhelm. Possibly it's time to be brave and ask that guy/girl out on a date. It could be as simple as scheduling in time in your diary each week to do whatever it is that brings you a moment, or an hour, of joy.
Just know this - change one thing and everything changes. Need more convincing? Read this.
6. The greater the challenge (or the stuckness), the more incredible the transformation
This is one of the most powerful (and strangely comforting) things that was ever said to me during my recovery from CFS. The greater the challenge the more incredible the transformation. And, nothing is thrown at us that we can't handle.
During those weeks or months where life brings an extra degree (or 10) of ickiness, despair or strain, this is what keeps me moving forward, the notion that what is on the other side of this challenge is going to see me rise a stronger, more powerful version of me. Illness, immense heartache, trauma, all of it has shaped me to be who I am today and I am forever grateful for the learnings.
Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash
