Top 5 essential oils for better sex

Photo by Logan Nolin on Unsplash

Today on the blog, I've invited Freya Graf to share a few words on the power of essential oils and sexuality. Some of you may have read a post we shared earlier in the year following my experience with Freya, The many and varied Benefits of Yoni Mapping Therapy. Freya is a passionate user of essential oils in her practise so I am delighted to have her share her thoughts with us here.

Top 5 oils for better sex, by Freya Graf

A true essential oil is the lifeblood of the plant. An essential oil contains the unique properties of the plant and transfers them to the human body via living, bioavailable chemical constituents that carry concentrated information inherent in that plant’s make up. This information speaks to our DNA, nourishes our cells, and informs our bodies in very special and supportive ways.

I’m going to talk about two of the delivery methods with which you can use essential oils to help things along when it comes to your libido, hormones, and sexual experience.

One requires you to get yourself a diffuser, for the aromatic benefits of essential oils. This method disperses them into the air to be inhaled, thus impacting your mood in a fascinating way. Diffused essential oils have the ability to bypass your “thinking brain” (frontal cortex) in order to impact your “feeling/emotional brain” (limbic brain). This part of your brain is responsible for emotions such as happiness, peace, sadness and love, as well as impulses like sexual desire. Inhaling essential oils also stimulates the amygdala, which is the centre for our sexual drive.

So as you can see, there is a pretty good argument for popping a diffuser in the bedroom and enjoying the benefits it can bring to your nocturnal activities.

The other method is topical, since we absorb essential oils so readily through our skin and in this way can soak up their amazing benefits whilst smelling all kinds of delish!

So without further ado, I’m going to introduce you to a few of the stars in the bedroom and some suggestions about how you can use them to optimise your sex life.

Ylang Ylang

In Indonesia, the petals of this flower are scattered over the bed of newlywed couples on their wedding night. This is a famous aphrodisiac. It increases libido and sexual energy, and harmonises and balances masculine and feminine energies. Ylang Ylang has a calming effect that can help you relax - which in turn increases your ability to feel pleasure and open into orgasmic states because, as you may know, relaxation and a calm nervous system is essential to female arousal processes.

Pop a few drops in the diffuser, or dilute it with a carrier oil (perhaps some jojoba, sweet almond, or coconut oil) to apply to your inner thighs before heading to bed.


Cypress is a major player in my massage oil blends when massaging around the thigh and pelvic area. Consider for a moment that women have just as much erectile tissue as men do in their genitals, and that all of this tissue needs to become engorged with blood through the process of arousal to allow for epic orgasmic pleasure. It’s important stuff, and massage teamed with essential oils helps enormously in this department. Cypress essential oil, diluted and rubbed on your inner thighs will be the winning stroke.


Jasmine is a powerful friend for enhancing mood and energy. Known as the oil of sexual purity and balance, it's ability to stimulate feelings of well being may help relax and lighten the mood in the bedroom, thus improving intimacy. Jasmine is beautiful when applied as a massage for men and women.

Top 5 essential oils for better sex

Photo by David Brooke Martin on Unsplash

Clary Sage

This oil is my go-to PMS pal and I enlist its help when it's clear my cycle is running rampant, especially around my moon time. The libido boosting benefits of this one help us feel “in the mood” and can increase libido and natural lubrication. Diffuse it, and include it in any oil blends that you use topically on the body - especially inner thighs and below the navel, for optimal proximity!

Wild Orange

Wild orange is a fun and bright essential oil that lifts the mood, puts some zing in your bing, and energises the spirit. Orange essential oil is said to open the sacral chakra near the pelvic area which is associated with pleasure, creativity, and sensuality. It’s aphrodisiac properties help de-stress and embrace sexual expressiveness and fun. Plus it smells zesty and delicious whether diffused or used topically in a base oil. 

So those are some top picks to start incorporating into your sexy routine, all of which are common, affordable. As far as essential oils go. I needn’t remind you that it is essential (ha, see what I did there?) to ensure you only use the highest quality, tested grade oils - especially when straying so close to your more delicate zones!

A Mood Enhancing Diffuser Blend for the Bedroom

3 drops of Jasmine
3 drops of Orange
2 drops of Ylang Ylang
1 drop Clary Sage

Freya Graf is a Melbourne-based Yoni Mapping Therapist with a passion for holistic health, well-being and personal development. With a background of study in yoni massage, kahuna massage, facilitation, childcare, yoga teaching, tantric bodywork and sacred sexuality, Freya has established her Yoni Mapping Therapy practice in Melbourne’s inner suburbs. Freya trained with Bonnie Bliss - the creator of YMT - and is one of only 20 women in the world who are qualified to offer this incredible modality. You can follow Freya on instagram here.

Amy Crawford

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